I am very proud to say that I was invited to participate in the most fantastic Hambox Advent 2008! Every year Lady Hambox gives us 31 days of Holiday Inspiration. There truly is no way to describe it. You must see it for yourself.
Oh my Lordy, it's Holiday Time again. I am here to remind you that in this particularly difficult economic time, it is not only O.K. but joyfully wonderful to make your own gifts this year. In fact, why not start a new trend of making gifts for all the future holidays that will come upon us?
As I experienced the wild frenzy of media coverage and discussion around this year’s powerful and important election, I was struck by how important it is to walk carefully and truthfully as an Interfaith Minister.
Fortunately, I live a very diverse life, and I am in community and relationship with a variety of different people. As the heat turned up during this election, I started to hear how people really felt. Their morals, religious beliefs and ethical ideas came more often in conversation, blogs and e-mails.
Sometimes
I was surprised at the things I heard or read. The majority of the
time, I could easily respect those who had different ideas from my own.
I could see why some women resonated with Sarah Palin or thought that
offshore drilling in Alaska was a good idea, even though I didn’t agree
with them. I could hear the fear behind the words of a woman who
refused to vote for Barack Obama because he was a black man. It made me
sad, more than angry.
My most challenging moment arose when I encountered the first of my (many) acquaintances who planned to vote “yes” on California’s Proposition 8. For those who don’t know, this most recent election included a proposition that proposed to eliminate the rights of same-sex couples to marry in California. In May 2008, the California Supreme Court ruled that statutes that limit marriage to a relationship between a man and a woman violates the equal protection clause of the California Constitution. As a result of that ruling, same sex marriage was recognized as valid and legal in California. Proposition 8 (which passed by only 4%) now means the legality of all those marriages is in question.
This past summer, I was able to officiate at four same-sex wedding ceremonies. In some cases, the couple had been together over 10 years. Several couples had a child together. Each ceremony was incredibly full of love and celebration. Everyone present was so joyous that these couples, who up until this summer have legally been treated as second-class citizens, were now being treated equally and were able to bless and legalize their unions under the authority of the state of California.
In one ceremony, we included the "jumping of the broom" ceremony. The broom was tied with ribbons of blessing for the couple. [see photo] This ritual of jumping the broom has been used by both African-American slaves and Roma (also known as gypsies) to honor life commitments and marriage ceremonies for hundreds of years. Both groups of people were also not recognized as equal human beings in their culture and societies. This particular couple decided, along with vows and their ring exchange, to jump the broom in honor of the decades that they were not allowed to marry each other with the legal recognition of our state.
Here is a quote from my sermon about the broom, from the ceremony:
Jumping the broom is a tradition that was started in cultures in which certain groups of people, were not allowed to legally marry, due to ignorance, discrimination and cruelty.
Joyfully, today’s ceremony is legal in the state of California, and [our couple] also wanted to honor the fact that this very act of uniting together in legal matrimony has been illegal for so long. This jumping of the broom, honors those 9 years spent together, and the commitment they have already made, as well as honoring this delightful day when all of you can witness them in their holy promise to each other.
It breaks my heart to hear that this ceremony and all the other lesbian/gay ceremonies that have been performed this year, are no longer legal.
Many of the people I spoke to, who decided to vote “yes” on Prop. 8, did it for religious reasons. Their scripture, pastor, and/or church leaders told them that marriage should only be between a man and a woman.
This whole experience lead me to this question: What is the role of a spiritual leader when it comes to political decisions?
As an Interfaith Minister, I feel strongly that all people have a right to express their faith, exercise their right to worship, and talk about it anywhere and any way that they like. In fact, I think it is essential that those who practice an Interfaith life (whatever that may look like) should invite dialogue between faiths and hold that space for others who may have a hard time hearing views that are different from their own.
I am also angered that someone’s spiritual faith could lead to actions that alter a state’s constitution to deprive a group of people of legal rights. This is the first time in the history of our state's constitution that a human being’s rights were taken away. “Separate but equal” has been used before, with segregation in the South. We have finally abolished that ridiculous paradigm, only to re-enforce it in a different way. Whether you are gay/lesbian or not, you are hurt by this attack on civil rights.
I realize that I am a spiritual leader who is expressing her political views. I would never tell someone how to vote. I always tell everyone to vote with their hearts. But is there a difference between my speaking up to oppose Prop. 8 and the pastor who tells his flock to vote “yes”? I currently do not have an answer to this question.
On the one hand, I believe that religion and politics should stay separate. It is what this country was founded on. Our country is far too diverse for any one faith to hold us all. That is, in fact, why I decided to become an Interfaith minister.
On the other hand, civil rights are being violated by this ruling. As a spiritual person, shouldn’t I fight for what I believe in and help make this a better world for all? I am not basing my views on any written testament; I am basing it on what feels right and true in my heart, as a loving human being. Yet is that enough of a difference?
I am still sitting with this important discernment. I am thankful to have such a diverse group of friends, family, co-workers and community, through which I can be exposed to new ideas and new ways of thinking. It keeps me good and honest, as an Interfaith minister, to hear and understand ways of thinking that I not only don’t practice but don’t agree with either.
I have had many spirited dialogues in-person and on-line with people who do not agree with me. I try to always speak from my heart, use “I statements”, and be respectful of the other person’s views. It is a powerful and important role, to hold the space in these dialogues and help others understand that we cannot force our wills onto others. We must listen in the same way that we wish to be heard, hopefully finding common ground somewhere in the middle.
No matter what your point of view is, I ask of everyone reading this today to hold that sacred space in your dialogues and communications. Such deep and respectful listening can transform our world.
I just read a wonderful blog by an "unlikely Army Chaplain." He is a Jesuit Priest and has a great style of writing. He's got a great sense of humor and speaks with a great honesty and humility. Three things I think are essential to posses when working as a spiritual companion! He's currently writing about his two favorite prayers, "Help Me," and "Thank You." Check it out.
Reading this blog helps me feel a little bit better about the soldiers who are still stuck in this war. I hope there are other chaplains like this man, serving and companioning over there.
I recently had the opportunity to speak at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Petaluma, CA and my beloved husband filmed it so all of you who couldn't make it can enjoy it too!
The subject of my talk, "Crafting an Authentic Life Through Dreamwork." Enjoy!
I try not to get too political with this blog, if only because I firmly believe that religion and politics do not good bedfellows make. And interestingly enough, that is why I feel it is O.K. and even important to say in this blog that it is really imperative that all we Californians vote NO on Proposition 8.
The proponents of Proposition 8 (the California Family Council, the Santa Ana Unified School District and the Coalition of African American Pastors) do not admit that their legislative attempt is religious. They are using California children as a screen to hide behind - "Teachers could be required to teach young children there is no difference between gay marriage and traditional marriage!" (taken directly from California's Official Voter Guide). This is a ridiculous scare tactic that isn't even true (notice the word "could" in there). They are hiding their religious agenda and it makes me sick to my stomach - at least be honest about it!
In the end, this is not a religious issue. It is a human being issue. Same sex couples are human beings and should have the right to marry if they choose. What is so hard to understand about that?
Proposition 8 eliminates the rights of same-sex couples to marry. In May 2008, the California Supreme Court ruled that statutes that limit marriage to a relationship between a man and a woman violates the equal protection clause of the California Constitution. As a result, currently, same sex marriage is recognized as valid and legal in California.
I am an Interfaith Minister by profession and one of the reasons that I chose this path is that I feel we ALL deserve to have a minister to celebrate and witness all the joys and major life experiences on our journey. Officiating weddings is one of my favorite things to do as a minister and I feel so lucky and blessed to be able to perform LEGAL wedding ceremonies for gay and lesbian couples.
I did a wonderful wedding this past weekend for two incredible, loving women who have been together 9 years and have a son together. I wish all the creators of Proposition 8 could have been at this wedding to witness the outpouring of love, joy and celebration during this ceremony. How can anyone witness that kind of love and support for a couple NOT support the idea that they deserve and have every right to be legally wed? It really boggles my mind.
As you see in this photo, I am holding a broom that has been tied with ribbons of blessing for the couple. This particular couple decided, along with vows and their ring exchange, to jump the broom, in honor of the decades that they were not allowed to marry each other, under the eyes of the legally binding body of our state. The ritual of jumping the broom has been used by both African-American slaves and Roma (also known as gypsies) to honor life commitments and marriage ceremonies.
Here is a quote from my sermon about the broom, from the ceremony:
Jumping the broom is a tradition that was started in cultures in which certain groups of people, were not allowed to legally marry, due to ignorance, discrimination and cruelty.
Joyfully, today’s ceremony is legal in the state of California, and {our couple] also wanted to honor the fact that this very act of uniting together in legal matrimony has been illegal for so long. This jumping of the broom, honors those 9 years spent together, and the commitment they have already made, as well as honoring this delightful day when all of you can witness them in their holy promise to each other.
Here’s what you can do to help defeat Proposition 8 (taken directly from Equality California PACs site).
I just read about Brenda Hutchinson's project DailyBell2008. In this year-long project, she honors the sunrise and sunset - every day! - by ringing a bell or many bells. Her blog has wonderful videos of all the different places and ways she has rung her bells, including in the quiet of the Marin Headlands, the wild acoustics of a San Francisco parking garage, recruiting strangers in the local Starbucks, and with a big gaggle of kids and puppies across the street.
She also has a youtube channel where you can see a daily video of her bell ringing.
The various combinations of bells ringing is so beautiful. It reminds me of the wedding of my special friends Chris and Sylvia, where Sylvia and all the women in her bridal party came skipping and dancing down the aisle ringing little bells. It was so quiet and beautiful and yet also raucous and celebratory at the same time!
I also realized that I don't own a single bell!
I have been thinking a lot this week about daily practices and rituals that help me feel closer to God. I decided that chanting (I originally wrote "changing"!) with the sunrise was something I'd like to do - as chanting Hindu prayers and mantras has always been a powerful experience for me. I do find that even with that commitment and intention, I do not end up doing it every day.
So I am in awe of Brenda honoring this commitment she has made to the sun and its movements with such a beautiful and simple act.
What is a simple, spiritual act of honoring that you can do every day?
Two years ago my husband convinced me to join his small, weightlifting gym. It took quite a lot to convince me that I wasn’t going to be met with the same oppression I have met at other gyms and fitness centers.
I am a very big, curvy woman. Every time I have tried to workout in a public facility, I have been met with a lot of assumptions: I want to lose weight, I have no strength, I am lazy and this is first time I’ve done anything active in my life, etc. I cannot tell you how many times I have been walking on a treadmill and some has come up to me and said, “You’ve been walking on that treadmill for 30 minutes! Good for you!” Would those people say that to a skinny person? No, they would not.
Needless to say, I was a bit gun-shy when I walked into this new gym. Not only was it close quarters; it was also full of weightlifters who were grunting and groaning and dropping weights loudly on the floor.
I have come to love those sounds, and now I grunt and drop weights loudly on the floor myself. In fact, it has become a ritual—an essential part of my life. I am dedicated to my weightlifting practice for my strength and growth, much like a spiritual practice.
At
the gym I experience a deep sense of community, encouragement and
support. It doesn’t matter what size I am, what my political beliefs
are, or what my background is. The proverbial “little old lady” lifting
her 8 lb. weights, or my husband, lifting almost 300 lbs. over his
head, are both celebrated equally. All achievements and transformations
of strength and fitness are celebrated exactly the same, much the way
an ideal minister or spiritual companion meets each person where they
are on their journey—celebrating the triumphs and having compassion for
the moments of disappointment and frustration.
It wasn’t until another lifter and myself started joking about how this gym had become our “church,” that I realized what a spiritual practice weightlifting had become for me. I realized that at this point in my life, this eclectic group of weightlifters had become my spiritual community. When I walk into the gym, the community (or “congregation”) greets me. People ask me how my life is going. They remember things about me, and I feel seen and cared for.
Just as I had felt lost and unwelcome at the bigger more impersonal gyms, I also have felt lost and unwelcome in the more organized, religious communities I have visited as a seeker, hoping to find my spiritual home. Just as assumptions were made about who I am and what I want from a gym or fitness program (based solely on how I look), so too have religious communities made erroneous assumptions about me and my spiritual life, based solely on the fact that I am a woman, or was raised by a Unitarian Minister father, or some other “surface” projection. Just as the chart that claims I am obese does not take into account the fact that I have very strong (and heavy!) muscles, so too does the dogma of most organized religion not take into account that my interpretation of the Divine does not include punishment, authority or sin.
In my weightlifting community, I feel seen, heard and appreciated. I am pushed to transform and grow, both on the inside and the outside—and as a member of the community, I also encourage others to transform and grow. We practice together on a regular basis. If that doesn’t define a spiritual community, what does?
That same week, I read an article in the Presence, the publication for Spiritual Directors International, that included an article about spotting. Spotting, in weightlifting terminology, is the practice of standing near a lifter when they lift a very heavy weight, in case they need help. In the article, spotting was used as a metaphor for spiritual direction. I felt that my hunch had been confirmed when I read that article! Spotting is very much like spiritual direction. We are companions and witnesses to each other, we are there to help if it is needed, and we step back and witness in silence when the work is being done without our help.
Any regularly undertaken activity that reliably generates greater conscious awareness and understanding of the deepest sources, patterns of meaning, and values in my life (and in the lives of others) is a spiritual practice. Any activity that increases the experience of the ultimate worth of my self, of others, and of life itself, is generating an increased, felt sense of the Divine—and so is, by definition, a spiritual discipline.
When I lift my weights, I am pushing myself each time I lift that bar. I am tracking my progression, while bringing my whole self to that moment. It is amazing how important a role the mind and spirit play in weightlifting and other physical acts of strength and fitness. I must quiet my mind, and yet at the same time, I have to stay actively awake and present. I cannot “check out” they way I would in watching a movie or looking out the window. This active state of mind is similar to the yogic practice, or Buddhist meditation, or prayer. It is working both my inner consciousness and my outer body of muscles and bone. I also put deep trust and faith in God that I will be “spotted,” both by a physical person I am working out with and by God herself, guiding my intuition and knowing when a weight is too heavy for me that day.
All of our paths are unique and special. We are all seekers in some way, and we are all trying to find the spiritual community where we belong. I hope that after reading this article, you too will be able to open up your mind and see other ways to be spiritual in your life that you may not have noticed before.
I am so thankful that God has lead me on this interesting and surprising path!
May you always know your strength, both inner and outer.
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To see a video of me snatching 50 kilograms (110 pounds), click here:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9G6XzVqVK0&feature=PlayList&p=7CA7F00168B49A25&...
Many people ask me what my faith tradition is and I always answer that I am an ordained Interfaith Minister and that my spiritual practice is creativity. This can be a bit confusing, as I don't attend church regularly and I don't subscribe completely to any established faith tradition. I am deeply in awe of all the faith traditions in the world and they all speak to me on some level, and yet they all do NOT speak to me on another level.
But, when pushed, the closest thing to an established faith tradition that I can subscribe to is Matthew Fox's Creation Spirituality. I won't go into the history of the how and the why of the creation of Creation Spirituality in this little blog post. What I will share with you are the 12 Principles of this movement. Explore these ideas in your own life and see if they resonate!
Ecology is the local expression of cosmology and so we commit to live in light of this value: to pass on the beauty and health of creation to future generations.
